The Way of the Cone
Ice cream, a summer treat. Hercules had his labors, Troy had its horse, and I have my ice cream. Step aside, heroes of old, for it is time for a new tale to begin: the tale of the five trials needed to become a master of the way of the cone.
Trial one—the making. The first step is often the most crucial in a difficult journey, for once you have begun, you must stay until the end. The cone starts before the cone, with the mix. You must brave the tundra that is the freezer; the mix must be kept cold otherwise it will spoil, and the task will be over before you start! Pour the tidal wave of flavored milk and cream into the hopper, spill not the mix, as it could attract flies and ruin everything.
Trial two—the serving. The early climax, and the easiest to mess up. Journey to the land of the cones and select the most promising candidate to be your serving receptacle. Travel far to the land of the ice cream, fighting crewmates for the illustrious ice cream machine; there is only room for so many. Then, make the cone, struggling to get the perfect swirl with the non-Newtonian solid that is soft ice cream. Quickly, you must get it to the customer, there is not much time until the ice cream melts, and if that happens, the operation will fail. Come, we do not have time to waste, we must move on to trial three—the dreaded customers.
Customers are troubling for some; it depends on the day, the customers, and the time. You cannot prepare for this trial, only fear it. With each oncoming customer, There is no knowing whether they are rude, ordering one hundred things, or speaking in their mother tongue. If lucky, you will get a nice customer: one with simple taste. If the gods are angry, however, you will get a “Karen,” or even worse…children. Not much can be said about trial three, as there is no consistency. Customers are a labyrinth of ill-mannered souls and forgotten orders, so, we shall move on to trial four—the mess.
After the cars leave and the neon “OPEN” sign dims, the one reality is thrown into your face: it’s a mess! From the vomit of a child to a ripped garbage bag, you must harden your resolve and go dignified into the night, fully prepared to be met with the most vile, disgusting smells in the world, all to prepare the shop for tomorrow. It must be done. If it is not you who sacrifices yourself, it will be someone else. Delve into the barren swamps that is the drain, clearing it out for tomorrow’s dishes; heave a sack of rotting sugar cream, bearing the putrid smells of bile, old food, and flies feasting on the remains of your hopes of having an easy task, all so someone else doesn’t have to.
We are the comedic relief to the gods above us. However, we are the ones that have the last laugh. Through these trials, unexpected friendships are formed. We laugh with one another when a joke is cracked, and we cry with one another when they move on to bigger and better things. Ice cream, a simple treat, builds bonds with unlikely friends and ties those together, those who are completely different. It allows us to overcome hardships and understand that it’s imperative to ask for help. These small things, the trials that we overcome, the friends that we make, the laughs that we laugh and the cries that we cry, truly show us that the real cruelty is that so many people will never know the true joy of ice cream.
Sean Novak is a first-year sustainability major at SUNY Geneseo. He considers himself a “casual hobby writer.” Sean enjoys creation in all capacities, such as cooking, writing, and drawing.